This is A Personal Touch, a chance to check in with ordinary people making an extraordinary difference in the world. I’m Rebecca Cressman and today our guests are Pam Denicke, she’s the Education Program Manager for the Single Mom Foundation. We also have Dotti Durtschi. She is the Founder and Director of Marketing for the FREE and soon-to-début magazine, it’s called Synergy. And it is a publication for single moms for Utah. And I can’t help but think how lucky we are to have two women dedicated to helping single mom’s and that there is synergy right there. Dotti and Pam, thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you.
Thank you for having us.
Q: Well let’s start off, may I, with the Single Mom Foundation, Pam. And your title is the Education Program Manager. You have made it a top priority to help single mothers understand not only the importance of education but the attainability of it, is that right?
A: Yes. And how to pay for it. That’s usually every single mom’s concern.
Q: So that is basically the situation: is they find themselves single, they think that education is accessible or important, but they are unable to know how to really make it happen. What are some of the points then that you are extending to them?
A: Well what we have done, Rebecca, is basically… The Single Mom’s Foundation has done the homework and this all stems out of research that has been done in the last year in partnership with the Center for Economic Self Reliance at BYU. And we spent a year just researching critical issues that impact single moms here in Utah, and the conclusion of that research was to help them get an education or training so that they can have a greater earning power and become self reliant and have a better life for themselves and their children. So like I said, we have basically done the homework. We’ve gathered up the best resources by partnering with institutions of higher education and applied technology colleges across the state of Utah, and getting their specific services and programs and resources that are available on each campus. We have gathered them together and put them on our website. In addition to that we know it is not enough just to get a mom into school but we also have a tab, it’s Resources for Single Moms tab and it is full of community resources that can help single moms when those inevitable challenges come up and they are trying to be a student and an employee and the head of their household. They are so well connected on campus as well as in the community to resources that they will not have to leave school.
Q: Well and Pam, you as a single parent for many years understood what other single moms are going through. Dotti, the same with you a single mom of three young children, and tell us again okay so you know what the goals of the Single Mom Foundation is but Dotti you decided to say, in addition to education, I want to see a magazine that supports every angle of a single mom’s life. Tell me about your dream, the dream magazine?
A: Well about five years ago I had this idea that there needs to be a reference guide or a magazine published for single moms and I thought about it for about five years but very strongly in the last year and a half. I have studied it and decided that a lot of moms when they get divorced they go into a different realm of life. Where they are told to go here for help, and here for help, and they spend a lot of time kind of like a pinball machine, bouncing from one service to the next. They don’t have one hub that they can go to, to find all those resources that they need. And I thought a magazine would be a great publication where we could share those resources with single moms and also share each other’s stories. Kind of like the show Steel Magnolias when you walk into a beauty shop and you share your feelings and successes with your other girlfriends. We want this magazine to be that, an inspiring and unifying magazine for single moms to help them to become self reliant, but also sitting talking about the issues of education. That’s why Pam and I are very… Single Mom Foundation and Synergy are partnered together. Employment: getting them to where they feel confident so they can get jobs that maybe they think they couldn’t have gotten previously. Problems: talking about domestic violence in our community and sexual assaults and child support and just different issues that single moms face everyday that are so important and so crucial. That we probably through this magazine, can give them maybe a different way of looking at the world so that they can find the self reliance that I would hope that they can have by reading our magazine.
Q: I imagine, Pam, as you have worked and looked at the research that was conducted, and Dotti you in addition, looked at single moms in Utah, that they are also facing similar challenges of moms across the nation and is there also, in addition to the crisis of education or the struggles of having to provide for a family on your own when you didn’t have to before, is there also in a sense a crisis of confidence? Is there a struggle that single mothers confront that has a lot to do with their belief in themselves after a divorce or some kind of event in their life that has changed their status, Pam?
A: Oh absolutely, and I can only speak from my own experience. But what I guess I discovered going through a divorce after nearly 17 years of marriage and being a stay- at-home mom, is that I felt like I no longer had a voice in my community. Well really, a person’s life just changes and then to think that now I am going to be responsible and the head of my household. I am also a first generation college student and I just did not know where to start, didn’t know where to start. Yes, my self-esteem was not where it could be because I think often times we as women we just minimize what we do in the home. We minimize our skills and then of course our self-esteem is low and there’s a lot of guilt, I think that for my own situation, a lot of guilt about having been divorced. Because of course most of us have been raised that that’s not okay. And then also just dealing with the legal system for the first time in my life too going through a divorce and then trying to figure out quickly how to jump in and be the full provider out of your family and do it quick. So then finding out about school, learning all the processes of getting into school, the financial aid process, and it’s overwhelming. For me it was just a very scary time.
Q: I appreciate your honesty and you know Dotti, if I can just turn the tables on you for just a moment. I know that you have expressed in the past that there are a lot of challenges for single moms as there are for all single parents, but you have talked about the power of doing your best and in trying to keep a positive perspective despite the obstacles and the hurdles that are in front. When someone looks at Synergy Magazine and they open those pages up, is there hope then to try to reflect what is possible rather than what hurt and what pain is out there? It’s hard for me to kind of coin the phrase that I’m trying to reach, but when they open the pages, Dotti, are they going to see a brighter future for themselves?
A: Well that’s the goal of this magazine is actually to, and we also have a website that will be, the magazine will be archived on and there are references on there also. That is the goal of this magazine. It’s not a magazine to sit and complain. I mean we all have our stories that are difficult and some are more difficult than others but we also have our achievements. I think that is the goal of this magazine is to discuss achievements. In the magazine two women a month will be highlighted that have come from difficult circumstances and have achieved successes to where they are CEO’s of global companies here in Utah, or they are CEO’s of local companies here in Utah. I mean just to hear their stories and how they struggled but kept the faith and the hope that they would survive and found a support system to help them get through school, and for once realized that they had to work really hard to achieve those goals. I think nothing comes easy that’s worth it. I think you have to work hard to achieve those. Both Pam and I have gotten back to school and Pam passed more than I have, but I actually had a Bachelor’s degree from Utah State and found that my training at Utah State, I needed some more training and went back to Salt Lake Community College. That was really hard, I worked two part-time jobs, had three children and took 16 to 20 credit hours a quarter and graduated with a higher GPA than I did when I had my Bachelor’s degree and had no children. Because I knew that this was my chance. It was the chance to change the lives of me and my kids.
Q: And as I see it, it will be a reflection of the hardship because it is a tough journey to go from possibly either a stay-at-home mom or dual income mom to a single parent. But the magazine will reflect the honest stories of women and what they are facing right now. But it is also is in some sense, a helping hand that says okay there is a way and we can move forward if we move forward and learn from each other. The magazine is called Synergy and it will be out, December is the goal and Dotti and Pam I understand it might not just be in Utah, but there are eyes on this to go national, is that right?
A: Correct, yes we’re looking into the plans for a national début but that will be awhile down the road. First we have to make successful here in Utah, and see the results of how this magazine can help people in Utah. We’re hoping that Pam and the Single Mom Foundation will be right along with us.
Q: Pam Denicke, the Education Program Manager for the Single Mom Foundation, and Dotti Durtschi, the Founder of the soon to be Synergy Magazine, thank you for combining your energies on behalf of single mothers in Utah, and eventually for single moms across the nation. Thank you so much for joining me today.
A: Thank you. Thank you.
And I am Rebecca Cressman and we want to thank you for joining us for this week’s edition of A Personal Touch. Be sure to check your email next Saturday to find out who else is making a difference in our world with ‘A Personal Touch.’
End of interview.
